Making Your Own Tahini

Do you remember a couple weeks back when I told you about my current favorite lunch? You know...tabouli and hummus on flat bread? Well, the other morning I pulled out my food processor, peeled the garlic cloves, picked the parsley and had Sadie pluck the parsley leaves. We were out of hummus and I needed more. In a couple days we were taking a day trip to a nearby lake and I was lining up our packed lunch.

I went to the fridge and before I even opened the door I remembered that when I made hummus the week before, I used the rest of the tahini. (If you remember, tahini is sesame seed paste.) Our non-chain grocery store doesn't carry tahini. In order to get more, I would have to drive all the way across town to the natural foods store. Go that far for one item? That's not me. So instead I got online and pulled up a recipe. It called for only two ingredients. Sesame seeds and olive oil. The recipe I found called for 5 cups of sesame seeds. Well, I knew I didn't have that many. Who has 5 cups of sesame seeds on hand anyway? If you do, please tell me why- I'd like to know. I scrounged around and found one cup, adjusted the recipe and commenced.

Homemade tahini

We were surprised to find that this batch of hummus (with the homemade tahini) was hardly distinguishable from previous batches. If you are lucky enough find bulk sesame seeds at a cheap price, this ends up being very cost effective in addition to saving you in a pinch.

Hummus made with homemade tahini

Tahini (adapted from About.com)
This recipe makes about 12 tbsp. of tahini, enough for two hummus recipes.

1 cup sesame seeds
about 1/3 cup olive oil

The recipe I found called for toasting the sesame seeds in the oven. Um, no. Not in the middle of summer. I sprayed my non-stick pan with cooking spray and toasted the sesame seeds over medium high heat- stiring constantly to keep them from burning. When they start to turn light brown, remove them from the heat, continuing to stir a bit until they stop toasting. Let them cool, then put them in your food processor along with 1/4 cup of olive oil. Process them, adding more olive oil if needed.

The consistency you are looking for is that of store bought tahini. If you're not sure what that is like, aim for all natural peanut butter consistency. And, if you're still not sure what I mean, try for the consistency of what creamy peanut butter becomes when it's spread on hot toast. It becomes even creamier.

Store the tahini in a jar with a tight fitting lid (in the fridge).

"Next year we are not canning beets."

This is what I said to Jamey as we found ourselves halfway through canning 24 pints of pickled beets. If my memory serves me correctly (and I believe that it does) I told Jamey at our garden meeting (back in January) that I wanted very few, if any, beets. I love pickled beets. Don't get me wrong. I just didn't think we needed very many and was thinking ahead at all we'd having going on this summer (third child, in particular). But...

Jamey likes to plant things.

So, instead of 'very few', he pulled a bushel of beets yesterday. Here we are, surrounded by laundry, two children who have decided it's their life's purpose to pick on each other, a one month old who no longer likes sleeping during the day and umteen projects around the house we want to get done before Jamey goes back to school. And he brings in a bushel of beets. Not to mention the 10 pints left in the pantry from last year.


We canned those beets and I'm not really sure why. Maybe while Jamey has a compulsion to plant, I have one to can. I don't know. But, what I do know is that we are not canning beets next year. This time I mean it. Will you please help hold me to that?

Neighbors

You know you have wonderful neighbors when they...

~ feed your cat, water your plants and get your mail while you're away

~ check on and water your chickens if you are out of town

~ watch your children for you when you have doctor's appointments

~ give your children cookies every time they see them

~ share their concord grapes with you every September

~ warn you of strange dogs in the neighborhood

~ remember your children's birthdays and send them a card so they get mail

~ tolerate the occasional chicken that wanders into their yard

~ tolerate Marv's crowing every morning (and afternoon, and evening)

~ are willing to power wash a dirty portion of your house in exchange for baked goods

~ are willing to be on-call for child care if you go into labor

~ let you borrow tools and equipment

~ let your children ride bikes on their basketball court because you have no pavement at your house

and most of all when they...

~ rushed out of their homes and started searching the second they got word that we couldn't find Sadie.

Thank you, neighbors. You are more than neighbors. You are family.

We found Sadie (on our property) and she is fine.

Through Tears

I don't know if this happens to others or not, but it's happening to me for the third time. It happens when they are about three or four weeks old. They start smiling. Not just when they are sleeping or when they release some gas pressure or when their little cheek muscles decide to exercise their smiling abilities. It's when they start smiling because they see you. They go from aimlessly staring at the light streaming in from the window or the ceiling fan to focusing in on my face. My smile. My voice. And then...they break out into the most amazing grin. A grin for me. A grin of recognition. They see a smiling face- their mommy's face- and they smile back.

I am in the midst of Miriam's first week of this intentional smiling and thus, I am in heaven. When she smiles at me, I cannot help but get teary-eyed. This is frustrating because then I have to look at her first smiles through tears- it's harder to see to through tears and I don't want to miss a single one. I cried when my other two children started smiling at me, too. And don't get me started on the cooing. Miriam has started cooing as well and I can hardly stand it. I melt. I dissolve into awe and love and I forget the world and try my hardest to coax yet another little sound out of her little mouth.

I know. I'm sappy when it comes to my babies. This is just how I am. I will always remember gazing into my children's eyes through tears and soaking in their first grins and noises. These days I will never get back and therefore I want to never forget.

Betty, Our Fourth Broody This Year

Our fourth broody hen is named Betty after my grandmother because she enjoys watching our chickens when she comes to our house. We love it when you come, Grandma.

Betty sat on a clutch of about 10 eggs and only two chicks hatched and remained alive. Four other eggs hatched (to varying degrees) but the chicks never made it. This seems to be the trend for us. We get a couple healthy chicks and about four die in the process of hatching. I'm not sure if this is the proper ratio of dead to live chicks or if our hens (or us) are doing something wrong.

Anyway, Betty's chicks are as adorable as chicks come and they are living happily outside in the chicken tractor. More chicks are on the way. We went ahead and placed an order for more Wyandottes (this time silver-laced) in hopes of bolstering egg production so we can supply more friends.

Just a Little Bit of Jam

Alright, I'm joking. This isn't going to be about a little bit of jam. There is actually a lot of jam involved. Back in the fall, I wrote about how I am making the favors for my little sister's wedding. Back then, I filled a third of the jars with grape jelly. You can see them here.


Our strawberries started coming the week before Miriam was born, so we crushed and froze all the ones we didn't pop into our mouths or eat in smoothies or Tishy Falou. The other morning, I thawed 5 quarts of those crushed berries and Jamey and I canned 60 4-ounce jars and 3 pints of strawberry jam.

Do you want to know our secret recipe? Do you promise you won't tell? We use the recipe that comes with the Sure-Jell box. Yep, we do. It tastes great and always sets like it's supposed to.


Those popping sounds were music to my ears. The last third will be made from the peaches of a nearby orchard later this month. I'm just not sure which orchard. I called the orchard we usually use for peaches the other day and they told me all their peaches were destroyed in a hail storm a few weeks ago. Needless to say, I'll be doing some more calling to get my hands on some peaches. If only our peach trees were already producing....

strawberry jam

Blue Gold

This is blue gold. Did you know that this is what they are called? They are when your local blueberry farm is out after two days of pick-your-own and when you can't afford to pay what the ones they've held back to sell at the farmer's market cost.

My dear cousin dropped a quart of these off yesterday when he came to pick up milk jars (he gave us his raw milk share for the week since he was going out of town). Luckily, for everyone involved, while he was away he came upon a blueberry farm that was letting folks pick for FREE since a lot of the bushes were damaged by frost. Yeeehaw.

I love blueberries and when my eyes landed on these beauties my head was swimming with ideas of what to do with them. I've finally decided. The only thing you can do with your first quart of blueberries... pop them into your mouth and enjoy each and every one. Thank you, Conrad.

Baby Fat (Mine, Not Hers)

How well I remember trying to fit into the loose regular clothes I had packed in my hospital bag to wear home after having Sam. Maybe some women fit into their normal clothes soon after birthing, but oh my, not me. I looked 7 months pregnant and while I now know this is normal (for me), I didn't then and was absolutely mortified.

After Sadie I was more psychologically prepared, but it was still a bit of a shocker. I have all this left to deal with? I think I have more left to deal with after having babies because I have some stomach muscle issues. The issue is they are rendered useless during each pregnancy. So, by the time the babe is born, they are limp and pretty much worthless, stretched wide apart, letting the rest of the contents of my abdomen fall forward (just like my babies do toward the end of pregnancy). Too much information? Sorry.

It's a slow road from here. With Sam and Sadie I was able to get back very close, if not, to my pre-pregnancy weight. Of course, the shape of my body had changed forever, but that's inevitable in my case and I've made peace with that. The problem is that it takes a good while for me to get back into my clothes...nine months to a year. I'm a bit ashamed to say this is a problem at all. I know these things take time....

I must admit (I'm being really honest here...deep breath) I'm a bit afraid to be out in public. Now, before you scold me for caring what other people think and remind me that I just had a baby and that society has a distorted view of reality when it comes to weight and what is desirable, know that I know all this. It's just that I still look 6 months pregnant and wonder if people wonder whose newborn baby I am keeping since it can't be mine because mine is still inside the womb. It doesn't help that my sweet Sadie girl keeps asking, "You got 'nother new baby in there?"

A friend and I were talking several months ago about whether or not we'd ever consider having a tummy tuck. I would consider it if it didn't cost $6000 (yes, I checked) and if it didn't involve major surgery. And if didn't go against my at-regular-weight love-the-body-God-gave-you and do-your-best-to care-for-it-properly and feed-the-poor-and-take-care-of-the-orphans-and-widows (do you know how many Compassion kids you could sponsor with that money?) mentality.

So, let's see where we are. I'm feeling a bit mortified. I know it will be a long time before I am content with my body again. I don't want surgery. That pretty much leaves me to start avoiding sweets, try hard not to eat after dinner, drink lots of water and pick back up my walk/jog workouts and pilates.

This will mean less posts about sweets. Possibly more mood swings. The occasional binge I may need to confess. I just thought you should be warned.

And, if you've just had a baby and are feeling a bit mortified yourself? Know that you are not alone and that if we give ourselves some time, we'll be back. So look out.

Bang Bang Chicken

Jamey and I are so excited. For the first time EVER we successfully grew broccoli. For some reason, in the past our broccoli plants looked okay but never grew the edible broccoli parts. But, lookie here...


Since we are only cutting off a couple heads at a time, we don't have tons to use at once. I dislike frozen broccoli, so I don't want to waste it by freezing it. Jamey was the first to suggest we make Bang Bang Chicken (yes, this is really it's name). We used to make it a lot when we bought supermarket broccoli, but it has been years since we've done that. Without success in the garden, we've been broccoli deprived.

The recipe comes from the Mennonite cookbook, Extending the Table...A World Community Cookbook. Many of it's recipes were submitted by Mennonites serving in other countries and the recipes are from those countries. Bang Bang Chicken is a dish from China. Along with the recipe comes this explanation, "In China this dish is sold by street vendors who traditionally summoned customers by banging two sticks together; hence, the name." So now you know.

We love this dish are so thrilled to be able to make it again, newborn and all.

Bang Bang Chicken (adapted from Extending the Table- the main adaptation I make is that we triple or quadruple the sauce part of this recipe because it's so tasty. I've tripled it for you below.).
Serves 4

2 chicken breasts, cut into strips (or the equivalent amount of cooked, shredded chicken)
1 clove of garlic, minced
2 tsp. ginger root or bottled ginger
1 scallion, chopped into 1 inch pieces or 1 small onion, chopped
3/4 cup water
6 tbsp. soy sauce
6 tbsp. peanut butter (creamy or chunky)
3 tbsp. red wine vinegar
4 cups broccoli florets or florets and spears

If using raw chicken, saute it in a few tablespoons of oil in a large pan until almost cooked through. Add garlic, ginger and scallions or chopped onion and cook until tender. If using cooked chicken, saute the onion until tender, add the garlic and ginger and saute 1-2 minutes longer, then add the cooked chicken.

In a small bowl, combine ingredients water through vinegar. Add to the chicken mixture and stir to coat the chicken. Simmer for 5 minutes and then add the broccoli. Cover the pan and let the broccoli steam until crisp-tender, stirring occasionally to coat the broccoli.

Serve immediately over brown rice.

Braiding Garlic

Jamey pulled our garlic the other day. We found that the right time to pull it is when some of the leaves/stems are turning brown, while most are still green. Other years, we waited until the stems were all brown. The bulbs with all brown leaves had more cloves that were already separating from the bulb and tended to sprout faster. If some of the leaves are still green, the bulbs' papery covers are more intact, keeping the cloves from splitting and sprouting as soon. I still have a braid hanging in our kitchen from a year ago. For that braid I used all bulbs with the paper still intact and they are still intact today.

When I tried braiding garlic for the first time last year, I was a bit disappointed by instructions I found on line. Maybe there are better ones out there, but I couldn't find them. It took some trial and error for me to figure it out. My braids certainly aren't perfect, but they hold the garlic together well.


Today I am writing for you what I wish I could have found- instructions with pictures (I'm a visual learner).

Braiding Garlic

Start by cleaning as much dirt as possible off of your garlic. I use about 15 bulbs per braid, but you can make them any size. Some people suggest letting them cure (or dry out a bit) for a few days first. I find that it works fine to braid them right away. They will cure in their braids once they are hung. Then, using shears, cut off the roots fairly close to the the bottom of the bulbs, as if you're giving the bulbs a crew-cut. Leave the stems/leaves alone.

garlic cleaned with roots cut off, ready for braiding

Choose three bulbs and lay them out in front of you with the leaves pointing toward you. (I find that standing at an outside table works best- this time we used two saw horses and a board.) Put the bulbs together and point the three stems in three directions- one straight toward you, one down and to the left and one down and toward the right, crossing the ones going left and right.

Now, the rhythm of this goes something like this... 1) add a new bulb, keeping it tight against the other three and placing it's stem in the middle with the stem already pointing toward you. 2) cross the left stem over and into the middle (as if you were braiding hair), making sure that where it crosses over is right up against the bulbs 3) add another bulb, keeping the bulb right up against the others (even over-lapping a bit) and add it's stem to the stem(s) in the middle


4) cross the right stem(s) over and into the middle 5) add another bulb adding it's stem to the middle group 6) repeat steps 2-5 over and over. You cross over from the left, add a new one to the center, cross over from the right, add a new one to the (new) center, cross over from the left, add a new one to the (new) center, cross over from the right, etc.


The key is to add each new bulb's stems to the middle each time, remembering that the middle group of stems is always changing- you are not repeatedly adding the new stems to the same group of stems.

Once your braid is long enough or you've run out of garlic, continue to braid the stems just as you would hair until you run out of stems or until it's long enough for you. Tie off the end tightly with twine. You can also tie the stems tightly just below the bulbs (where the bulbs meet the stems) to keep them tight against each other.




We used a couple different kinds of garlic together in these braids- some hard necks and some soft.

I really hope this was helpful and not too confusing. If you find that you catch-on midway through a braid, take it apart carefully and do it over- it will be worth it. These three braids we hung in our kitchen. They last all year long. As you need a bulb, just snip it off, close to the bulb, starting from the bottom of the braid. Once you've used all the bulbs, you're left with a very pretty dried braid. Perfect for turning that scarecrow of yours into a female scarecrow:-).

Tabouli and Hummus

I love tabouli (a Middle Eastern dish, also spelled tabbouleh) and I love hummus (also Middle Eastern). What I love even more is tabouli and hummus together. Together in a warmed pita bread or folded flat bread. Second only to toast-tomato-mayonnaise-peanut butter sandwiches when it comes to lunch.

Meals from our church family have started coming our way three times a week. What a blessing they are. We save the leftovers for the other nights during the week and occasionally pull a frozen meal from the freezer- these have either been given to us by family and friends or were stashed in there by me in the months before Miriam was born.

This has left Jamey and I wanting in the lunch arena. Jamey sometimes makes himself eggs and toast for lunch. I sometimes eat a peanut butter and jam sandwich with the kids. I decided we needed something a bit more grown-up and tasty. And, while I have not had lots of extra time on my hands, I did have enough time to make some tabouli and hummus. These batches will last us a whole week and they satisfy my desire to be eating fresh from the out-of-doors.

The cucumber came from the farmer's market (thanks, Ben!) and the tomatoes are chopped stewed tomatoes I canned last year- they work great. My favorite recipes for both tabouli and humms happen to come from Mollie Katzen's Moosewood Cookbook.

tabouli

Tabouli (adapted slightly from the Moosewood Cookbook)
serves 6-8

1 cup dry bulgar wheat
1 1/2 cup boiling water
1 1/2 tsp. salt
1/4 cup lemon juice (fresh or bottled)
1/4 cup olive oil
2 large garlic cloves, minced
ground black pepper, to taste
2-4 scallions, diced
1/2 cup packed fresh parsley, chopped
10-15 mint leaves, chopped
2 medium sized tomatoes, diced, or 1 pint stewed tomatoes drained and chopped
1/2 a large cucumber, diced
1 medium bell pepper, diced (optional)
4 ounces feta cheese (optional)

Combine bulgar wheat and boiling water in a glass bowl and cover. Allow it to stand for 30 minutes. In the meantime, in a larger bowl, combine ingredients garlic cloves through feta. Set this bowl in the fridge. Once the bulgar wheat has sat for 30 minutes, add ingredients salt through olive oil to it and stir well. Once it's cool, add the bulgar wheat to the larger bowl of herbs and vegetables and refrigerate until you are ready to serve it.

Serve in pitas or on flat bread with hummus, with tortilla chips or as a side dish/salad.

hummus and tabouli on flat bread

Hummus (adapted slightly from Moosewood Cookbook)
6-8 servings

4-5 medium garlic cloves, peeled
a large handful or fresh parsley (optional)
2-3 scallions, chopped into 2-3 inch pieces
3 cups cooked chick peas (2 15 1/2 ounce cans, rinsed and drained)
6 tbsp. tahini (seseme seed paste)
6 tbsp. lemon juice (fresh or bottled)
1-2 tsp. salt

Place all the above ingredients in your food processor and puree until blended well. Transfer to a covered bowl and chill until ready to serve. Serve with pita or flatbread and tabouli or with tortilla chips.

Consuming Kids

Yesterday afternoon, I ventured out of the house for the first time (by myself) since Miriam was born. A friend invited me to a showing of the film Consuming Kids: The Commercialization of Childhood at a local restaurant downtown. Click here to watch the Trailer on You Tube.

The film opened my eyes to a few things. I thought Jamey and I were pretty aware of how companies market to kids. Just a few weeks ago, he and I stopped at Target to pick up a couple things after a midwives' appointment- a rare opportunity for us to be out without the kids. One of the things we wanted to pick up was a pair of flip flops for Sam. Sadie had been handed down two pair and Sam really wanted a pair for himself. Do you know how hard it can be to find flip flops without Thomas or Power Rangers or Spiderman's image imprinted on them? Our kids only watch PBS and approved videos so they aren't exposed to commercials. Since Jamey and I don't watch kids' TV channels, I was really surprised at a lot of the commercials shown in the film.

Not only are advertisers trying to influence kids in regard to what toys, food, games, clothes, etc. they ask their parents to buy for them, they are targeting kids in an attempt to influence the purchases their parents make, too- non-kid purchases like cars, mini-vans, gas (yes, gasoline!), etc.

It may be obvious that marketers attempt to make kids brand loyal for life. There is a lot of money to be made and that is their job, of course. What really got to me was learning about the other ways that these advertisers are influencing kids.

Have you noticed that when they are trying to sell a product to a child, they don't talk much about the benefits of the product? You know, like how well it works? Instead they show how happy, cool and popular the kids are who use their toothpaste or buy their toy. It makes me really sad to think about how much this makes kids think that they will be happy if they have that product and worse yet, how they might make fun of or put down other kids who aren't "cool" because they don't have certain shoes or trading cards.

Also, if you watch closely, when they are marketing to girls, it's almost always about how great they'll look wearing something (jewelry, clothes, make-up, etc) and how they'll turn the boys' heads. For the boys, much of it is about action- often violent action- video games, action figures who fight, WWF wrestling, etc.

They also prey on kids' natural desires to be older. I remember always looking forward to my next birthday- those milestones mean new privileges and possibilities. Marketers are targeting younger and younger kids for items that most of us would agree are inappropriate for certain ages. For example, manicure and pedicure parties at salons for 6 year-olds. The film brought up the fact that these things are contributing to a loss of childhood- they're told to act, look and stomach images (when it comes to violence) in a way that only older kids/teenagers were told to in years past.

Most of my thoughts and information above have come directly from the film. What I found myself thinking about on my way home was how hard it can be for us as parents to decide where lines should be drawn when it comes to this issue and many others. In this case, at the very least, we need to be in conversation with our children (starting at a very young age) about what advertisements (in magazines, on billboards, on the internet) and commercials are all about- that they are trying to sell us something and they will do whatever they have to do to make it look good and to convince us we need it.

On the other end of the spectrum, we can take another approach. Decide what is best for our kids, and then make it happen. Even if fussing and tantrums ensue. We are ourselves the adults, right?

If you are interested in hosting a screening of this film or to find out more about how you can help speak out against this type of marketing, click here to go to the Campaign for a Commercial-Free Childhood's website.

This concludes my public service announcement:-).

The Gift of Rhubarb

Well, our rhubarb had a slow start. Actually, it had a fine start but headed downhill because of inadequate fencing. We had too much going on and our fowl friends enjoyed getting in among the plants and kicking dirt and mulch on top of them. This caused the rhubarb to slow a bit and look pretty pitiful.

Thankfully, Jamey's parents brought us a gift of a whole cooler full of rhubarb stalks when they came to meet Miriam this past weekend. After a bit of chopping, we stashed 12 1/2 quarts of rhubarb in our newly defrosted upright freezer (they helped with this as well- thanks, mom and dad!).


Our rhubarb is starting to perk up, so we may freeze some more. I'm so glad to have the rhubarb. Our sour cherry tree produced close to zilch- we're not sure if there was a late frost or if this is just an "off" year. I must have one or the other to be able to make Rhubarb/Sour Cherry Crunch. Phew. That was a close one.

Freezing Rhubarb

When you harvest rhubarb, cut close to the ground and remove the leaves at the other end (do not eat the leaves). Wash well with water, let drip-dry a bit and chop into 1/2 inch pieces. Transfer into quart bags and freeze.

To use, let thaw completely, drain off excess water and toss into muffins, crunch or whatever tickles your fancy.

Pea-uhs

That's how Sadie says peas. She eats peas like they're candy. Whenever we're picking or shelling peas, she's right there, shelling them herself and then eating them directly out of the pod. We find it hard to believe she hasn't gotten sick from all the raw fiber she's been getting, but so far so good.

My mom and Sadie shelling peas

Peas are a lot of work for what you get. We have peas planted all the way along the perimeter of our garden fence. It's often discouraging when a bushel picked turns into just a bowl of shelled. Oh, but once they are boiled in some water with a pinch a salt, we remember why we work so hard at picking and shelling. They are fresh and delicious.


Those we don't eat go into the freezer. I haven't had to take care of the putting up of the peas yet this year. Between my mom and Jamey, they've been taking care of the peas thus far. I've been nursing and nursing and nursing and nursing. This child is hungry.


Freezing Peas

Shell peas. Rinse peas to remove any excess dirt/pod pieces. Plunge peas into boiling water for about 3 minutes. Remove and plunge directly into cold water to stop the cooking (I use a sink full of water and ice cubes). Once cooled, let them drain and come to room temperature. Store them in plastic bags (we use quart bags mostly) and freeze.

To use, simply place frozen peas into boiling water and cook as you would store bought peas, making sure to taste them as they cook to avoid over cooking them.

Time Stands Still...Almost

What my mother says is true. When you have a baby, the world seems to stop. Well, at least in the mother's mind. I forget that people are going to work, heading off on summer vacations, doing all the things people do this time of year. I'm just consumed by this new life, whether she's getting enough milk, if she has a tummy ache or if she's just tired, how Sam and Sadie are handling things. My life is in my house, my little world.

Main Garden

But, life is moving on around me. While we were in the hospital, my mom and sister picked strawberries for the last couple times. Mom and Jamey have been picking and putting up peas (I've helped a bit with the shelling). We have stopped picking asparagus and now have to do our best to restrain ourselves and let them become tall, ferny fronds. The red raspberries are ripening and the kids have picked a few black raspberries. The lettuce has gone to seed as has the spinach. We've begun using swiss chard, carrots and onions in meals.

Back garden

Jamey built a gate and a permanent fence to keep the chickens where we want them to be. No more pussy-footin' around with temporary fences that those little stinkers can wiggle their way under. Our latest (4th this spring/summer) broody hen is still setting, due to hatch chicks in a week. Jamey has garden weeds under control. He made a bunk bed for the big kids.

Red Raspberries

My mom did an incredible job taking care of all of us. She was with us for a week and a half (We miss you, Mom!). In addition to making all our meals, she weeded all (yes, ALL) my many, many flower beds which hadn't had any attention since...hmmm...last summer? She did laundry, cleaned the house, washed windows, read countless books to the kids, changed many an itty-bitty diaper and even made up scavenger hunts for the kids.

Newest broody

Me...I'm still nursing and nursing and nursing, sometimes napping, gaining strength, easing back into chores and finally blogging some again. My world is slowly getting bigger... with an emphasis on slowly. Slowly feels just right.

Miriam's Birth Story

I think everyone has expectations of what an upcoming birth will be like, even though they know that every birth is different. I think we all have hopes of what it will be anyway. My expectation for my third labor and delivery was that is was going to be very similar to Sadie’s birth. With Sadie I was induced a week early because of muscular skeletal problems. This time I was going to be induced because I was late. With Sadie, a cervix-ripening drug was placed next to my cervix to help thin it a bit and then several hours later (after much walking), my water was broken. Sadie was born four hours later. This is what I was expecting since this third baby was in utero two weeks longer than what Sadie had been.

What happened instead was that when we got to the hospital, I was already 3 cm dilated, so we skipped the cervix ripener and went right to breaking my water. We were ahead of schedule and I was envisioning having this baby by lunch time. My water didn’t gush. Miriam’s head was down low, so only a trickle came out. After walking the halls for an hour with only a few moderate contractions, I discovered that Miriam had pooped in the womb. It wasn’t dark in color and since she was past due, no one was concerned. The only thing the nurse mentioned was that once the baby’s head was out, the midwife would want to immediately suction their nose and mouth so their first breath wouldn’t mean an inhalation of poop. Good thinking.

Since walking didn’t produce a good rhythm of contractions, they suggested I get into the Jacuzzi for awhile. This was extremely relaxing unfortunately. It was supposed to bring on stronger contractions. Instead of that, I had about 6 moderate ones in that 40 minute period. Next, I tried the birthing ball, bouncing and rotating my hips and pelvis. Nothing.

Our midwife at this point suggested starting Pitocin. It made sense as the next logical step, but it made me sad. I was hoping I wasn’t going to need it. Not just because of the intensity that Pitocin brings to contractions (I needed Pit during Sam’s labor as well), but because it meant a less natural process. I started to doubt our decision to be induced, wondering if we should have waited longer. Pitocin was started and so did contractions. By the time they leveled off my dosage (when I was really having to work through each one), I was very discouraged. I was tired. I was disappointed. I was having strong contractions with no idea how much longer this labor was going to last. Also in the not-so back of my mind was the fact that after hours of possible labor loomed transition. I hate transition. It’s the only time I feel out of control and even though it doesn’t last very long, I dislike it immensely.

I started thinking about drugs. With Sadie, I didn’t use any. I ASKED for some, but it turned out I was about ready to push, so there was no time and once I knew how close I was I didn’t want them anymore. This time I wanted them much earlier and this, too, was discouraging to me. I told Jamey I was sad and that I didn’t think I had it in me this time and that I wanted relief. He argued with me a bit and told me I should wait until the midwife checked me to see how dilated I was, just like I had told him to (prior to labor, of course). I was checked and was 5 cm. I asked our midwife what kind of time table I could be looking at and she said that a rule of thumb is about 1 cm per hour. Five hours?! She suspected I would deliver sooner, but couldn’t promise anything. I wanted the drugs. (She was born two hours later, not five.)

I was given pain medication through my IV and within minutes felt the edge come off the contractions (although I still had to breathe through and concentrate on each one) and my mood greatly improved. I felt hope. I was able to relax in between. Before long, the contractions picked up in frequency and intensity and I was having to work really hard to keep myself together. I assumed that even with the drugs, since I was getting closer to delivery, the contractions were just getting harder. During several contractions our midwife lifted my stomach to aid the baby’s movement downward (since I carry so low and out front). After a while I asked about the intensity of the contractions and was told that the drugs had worn off awhile before. The midwife told the nurse that she had timed it well- the way she gave it avoided the baby experiencing much affect at birth. I asked for more. Again, they convinced me to be checked first (just like I had asked them to). This time I was 9 cm. Praise God! I skipped the drugs.

I hunkered down on my side like I do when I need to concentrate and worked through each one maintaining fairly good control. I could feel her moving down, but with each one I expected the familiar urge to push, but it wouldn’t come. During as especially hard one, I could feel the nurse messing with the baby’s heart rate monitor that was strapped to my belly (a requirement when Pitocin is used). It hurt like crazy when she messed with it and I was close to asking her to stop when things changed.

I was made to lie on my back. An oxygen mask was placed over my mouth and nose. I saw my midwife inserting an internal heart rate monitor into me and into the top of the baby’s head still well inside. I thought they were just having trouble finding the heart beat (hence the internal monitor). I was so consumed by the contractions and the uncomfortable position I was in that I found it hard to listen to the instructions I was being given VERY firmly by the nurses (now there were several) and my midwife. I was 10 cm and was being told to push. NOW. The problem was, I had no urge to push, so I was having trouble finding my ‘pushing place’. I tried and couldn’t. I tried to follow their instructions. I knew what they were saying, I just couldn’t make it happen. Soon one of the nurses was physically pushing the baby down by pushing/pulling on my stomach from below. That hurt. What hurt turned out to do the trick. That manual push put Miriam’s head against my cervix and I felt the urge to push.

Look out. I pushed as if I was trying to push everything out of my body- baby and all. Everyone encouraged me to push even between contractions. So for a solid five minutes, I pushed and Miriam came out. I saw the midwife working on her once her head was out and I assumed she was suctioning. She was, but she was also getting the umbilical cord off from around her neck. She breathed. She cried. They placed her on my chest, poop and all and she was (and still is) beautiful. She scored well on her APGAR tests and was (and is) doing great.

I delivered the placenta soon after and was pleased to hear I wouldn’t need stitches. Then, out of nowhere I gushed blood and the midwife ordered the Pitocin back on to help stop the bleeding. I stayed on that until 11pm that night and had no further complications with my bleeding.

It was only over the course of that evening and the next when we had a chance to talk to our labor and delivery nurse did we come to find out the urgency of those last 10 minutes. Miriam’s heart beat was great- averaging in the 140s all during labor. During that tough contraction, the nurse was messing with the monitor on my belly because her heart rate had dropped to 60 and then couldn’t be found. Once the internal monitor was in, that read 60 as well. The OB from the group we go to had been called into the hospital in case I needed a c-section. The oxygen on me was an attempt to get more to Miriam. That was why they wanted me to get her out quickly. What they suspect happened is that she had the cord around her neck and a loose knot in her cord prior to labor. When she descended during those last, tough contractions, both pulled tight causing a drop in her heart rate.

Jamey was able to see more of the urgency in how everyone was working toward the end. He became weepy when Sam and Sadie were born, but when Miriam immerged, he was really crying. I was oblivious to a lot of that and was just so thankful that she was out and healthy and that those blasted contractions were over.

Miriam is a week old as I write this and a wonderful baby. It took her awhile to catch on to nursing. She expected milk after only a few sucks and didn’t have patience to wait for the milk to come. She has since learned patience and is eating well. After a couple semi-sleepless nights for Jamey and I, Miriam has fell into a wonderful sleeping pattern of only waking once or twice at night to nurse. She is starting to be awake more during the day and has even flashed us a few smiles that we are convinced were meant for us. I am trying to relish each day with this sweet newborn as she is our last. We are all in love.

An Unexpected Gift

Jamey is a full time pharmacy student, having completed his second of four years this past May. There are no summer class requirements, although there are practice hours he must complete. Once his classes were over this spring, he started working at a local pharmacy to complete this summer's hours and wrapped them up the week before Miriam was born.

For the remainder of the summer he planned on picking up work at the hospital pharmacy (as he did last summer) or at another pharmacy. As his practice hours became close to finishing, he started making contacts to set something up. The contacts were slow to respond and he began joking that maybe he would have the summer off. He mentioned this to the pharmacist who was overseeing his practice hours, a man Jamey's age with two kids very close in age to Sam and Sadie. He told Jamey to take the summer off, pointing out that he may never have a chance to do this again, especially when the kids are young.

Take the summer off? We let this stew, wondering how a family (now of five) was supposed to forgo an opportunity for work after a year with none. We weighed the pros and cons. We reviewed our finances. We prayed. Even though we knew it may be hard for some to understand our reasoning and ability to swing this, the idea really grew on us. Jamey, home for the summer? Here to help with our newborn and the kids? Here to manage the garden's weeds and help in preserving? Here to work on projects needing to be done around the house?

In a society where work is expected of most, we already feel a bit like misfits. I stay home. Jamey goes to school. No one works at our house. Opting to not pursue a few months of income seems bizarre and crazy.

But, in so many ways this makes sense. Because we in general swim against society's current- refusing to jump on many a bandwagon when it comes to possessions- we have been able to do what we've been doing- living off some savings and student loans. We don't have a cell phone plan or cable. We rarely go out to eat. We grow our own food, raise our own meat and are content to be home together instead of entertaining ourselves at the movie theater and mall. All these things save us money (and some of our spirits, I would say). This has helped us these past couple years and have made it possible for us to make the decision about Jamey's summer.

A summer at home. Together. Our values have beaten out society's expectations of us once again. We know that we are blessed to even be able to consider such a possibility. We know that many people are struggling all over the country to find work and pay bills. All more the reason we will relish this summer and the gift that it is.

To Tide You Over

I'd like to introduce you to Miriam. We're so glad she's here. We're home and I'm feeling better than I remember feeling after Sam and Sadie were born. Below you can see the surprise Miriam had for us- a true knot in her umbilical cord. She surprised us a few different ways during labor and delivery. As we process her birth day, we may be sharing some details. Until then, we will be enjoying our new family of five.

Miriam

Miriam

Born June 10th at 5pm
7 lbs., 11 oz.
19 inches long

Miriam & Mommy are doing well

Fanny

Poor Fanny (she's a hen if you're just tuning in). After setting on a dozen eggs for 26 days, Jamey took her off yesterday. We know 26 days is too long to wait for chicks- they usually arrive in 20 or 21 days. Fanny hatched a chick on day 23, but it died right away. It appeared that she never got off the nest to let it come out properly- it was pretty well flattened.

She was so determined to set and wait for her chicks to hatch. This makes me sad. Not just because I'm fairly emotional right now and I happen to be waiting for my chick to hatch, but because we're pretty sure it was our fault.

After Jamey took her off her clutch and we leg-banded her blue (we want to make sure she's had adequate food, drink and rest before we let her set again- if she even wants to), he opened her eggs in an attempt to figure out the problem. There were chicks inside- in varying stages of development- mostly young.

The mistake we think we made was not putting fresh eggs under her when we moved her to the broody box. We had done this with Emma. Giving them fresh eggs gives a better chance that the eggs are viable since when they are deciding whether or not to become broody, they may set on their clutch for several days (thus starting the chick development process) only to get off again for long enough to stop the process. Once they are in the broody box, they have been setting on (and sometimes off) the clutch for several days already. When we move them in, they really have nothing else to do and we can keep a better eye on them without disturbing the whole flock.

We're not sure how this explains the one chick who did hatch. Maybe Fanny or another hen laid it in with the others just before we moved her. That's our best guess. If anyone has another suggestion of what may have gone wrong, we'd love your ideas.

We're facing less of an egg yield and wondering if our two-year old layers aren't laying as often and the decision of what to do with them. I think we should provide some sort of hen retirement plan, but Jamey prefers the more practical harvest and stew option. So, while we decide about the older hens, do we order more chicks or hold out for another hen to go broody?

I have a feeling this is going to be the last time I think about these chickens for a little while. I do still feel for Fanny. All that setting and waiting and hoping. All for nothing. What keeps me from getting weepy is the fact that she has a bird brain and is probably over it by now.